I was married at 19 and quickly divorced 15 months later. I’m 30 now and have been in a wonderful relationship with Ted for the almost 11 years. I never cheated on him and even now don’t have sex with anyone else. With that said, I do have a guilty conscience for letting a co-worker massage me naked each week. It started over a year ago and went from a simple back massage to a naked, full body massage. That was my 1st mistake. I work in a country club and the guy who is doing this is my boss. He is 66 years old and each time he did this I had less clothes on. I think after few months he convinced me to undress completely. He didn’t try having sex with me and never has even now. His massages were so relaxing I never resisted the ways he touched me. The trouble started when he began using warm oil all over my body. He was well aware when I became aroused and although I didn’t give him permission he began penetrating me with his fingers and after a few weeks was performing oral sex. That was my 2nd mistake because I never tried to stop him. I have several orgasms each week and just continue letting him do this.

Ted is usually away on business a day or two every week so those are the nights I get the massage. Another shameful thing is I know and like my boss’s wife and know his youngest daughter. During our working hours its like this doesn’t go on. Why am I not humiliated with the situation I’m in. He has never asked or tried to have sex with me and has never tried to have me touch him. Regardless of that there is not an inch of my body he hasn’t seen and touched. He has me displayed to him in ways that Ted doesn’t see me. When he masturbates me he not only fondles my breasts but at times penetrates me anally and I have yet to ever say no or stop to anything he does. Once I get aroused I submit to anything he desires whether it be the way he positions me or how he touches me. I orgasm so strongly and one after another I am exhausted when he is done. Sometimes I lay face down for 5 nor 10 minutes to catch me breath as he continues rubbing my back and butt. As I shower I then feel ashamed that I keep doing this every week. I’ve been working here for 7 years and never, ever thought I would do something like this. When I think about it I question myself why it doesn’t embarrass me. Once I am aroused I allow him to position me in ways no one has ever seen me. So intimately I should be totally humiliated but instead overly stimulated where I don’t care. I tell myself I’m "not really" having sex with my boss but know I am cheating on Ted.