I was feeling a little worked up after work today so I decided to "take care of myself". While I usually watch porn, I decided to get imaginative and just think about my past experiences. I started thinking about my ex, which led to remembering how good the make up sex was and what it would be like to have it one more time. I came harder than I have in a while but realized that I was actually crying. I don’t know when I started, but I just realized how much I missed him (and not just the sex). That’s pretty sad.