I’m 32, have a more than a terrific husband, 2 young sons, a spacious house and close family ties especially with my mom and step dad. I got married while still in college when I was 20 and never mentioned to anyone how personal my relationship with my step dad was over many years. I was only 3 when he married my mom and yet I never called him dad but always just Mac which is his nickname. He was a physical therapist and teacher at the local high school. He also was a physical trainer for the football team and a very popular man with everyone. Our house was huge and Mac made an extended room onto the rear. It had exercise equipment, weights and a very expensive massage chair that he bought for my mom. My mom was and is obviously infatuated with Mac. He was and still is very handsome and always fit physically. When I think about it now I doubt my mom had any fear pertaining to my closeness with him and I truly loved him then and now.

What I’m about to write is a subject that has never been discussed with anyone including my mom or Mac, its just the way it was. I don’t remember at what age but I was very young the first time I actually showered with Mac. Nudity was never an issue with him or my mom and I was in the gym room many times when Mac was massaging my mom naked. Seeing each other naked was a common occurrence and little or nothing was ever said about it. When I was 8 or 9 I got involved in gymnastics at school. After a few falls and sore joints is when Mac began giving me regular massages. The chair was huge, flexible and could be flat or in several positions. By that time there was no embarrassment about Mac seeing me naked and even at that age I remember enjoying how he rubbed my body. I still remember the lotion he used all the time, it was Jojoba massage lotion. He was always dressed when he did this or at least had shorts on. I often saw him naked but never in the gym room. My mom knew he was giving me massages but never interfered or objected to it.

Even as I began to develop I had no sense of embarrassment around Mac. He gave me a massage at least once a week or more up until I went to college. I never once considered it sexual abuse by Mac. Even though he had full access to my body he never once ever tried to penetrate me vaginally. I was actually a virgin up until I met my husband. I do remember Mac often telling me to be discrete about the massages and I just never told anyone about them. There was never a time when Mac used his fingers to arouse me. It was just the way he ran his hands up my thighs and how he massaged my breasts. He always had me fully relaxed and didn’t concentrate on my breasts and vagina. when he did though I could feel the back or top of his hands on my anus and slightly inside my vagina. It not only aroused me but I would have orgasms which Mac always called a reaction to the massage. I’m not sure about this but think I began to orgasm from it when I was as young as 11 or 12. There were times when I would moan loudly but it was always only a reaction. Even in my teenage years I never questioned him or my mom about anything. I so much enjoyed it I never considered it anything dirty or abusive. I’ve never told my husband about it. Since married I never discussed it with Mac or my mom who I still see and socialize with a few times a month. Its like it never went on and I’ve decided to leave it at that. I do think however that Mac probably did arouse me on purpose and did take advantage of me. Oddly I still love that man and am happy when I see him. I’m not as open with nudity since I have two sons now but up until I began college never had a problem being nude around my mom or Mac. Neither did they ever have a problem with me seeing them nude. It seems strange to me now but I have nothing but good memories growing up. Whether or not Mac manipulated me and exploited my naivety doesn’t matter to me. He was and still is very loving towards me and more generous than any man I have ever met.